my vag is so smooth its legendary
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
