I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
