omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
