Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
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