Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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