Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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