guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
