i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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