Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
