i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
