i wish starbucks made bloody marys
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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