my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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