Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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