now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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