I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
