just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
