I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
