you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize