Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
