come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
