Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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