OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
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I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
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My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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