so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
