The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
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Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
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All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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