looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I think a kid would responsible me up
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
