I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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