Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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