if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize