i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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