My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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