So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
