she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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