you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
