it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
