Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
did i just pee glitter
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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