I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
