An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
