okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
