God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
