so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
