I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
