The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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