do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
