I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
