Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
