Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
