Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Randomize
