Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
