Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize