Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
