I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
