we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
