Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize