Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
