If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
