I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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