Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
