is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
