He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
