Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
