maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
