her vagine was all disorganized.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
