You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize