Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
