Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize