Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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