he told me I talked like a deaf person
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize