Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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